Breathing is often regarded as the measurement of life and, unless it is disrupted, many of us simply take it for granted - only recognising it once it’s missing or affected by an external force.
For MND sufferers, breathing is forever on their minds, with respiratory failure the most common cause of death. You only have to watch the film I am breathing to empathise.
However, following my newfound understandings of its power, instead of looking at breath through the lens of death, I wanted to learn more about its positive impact, both from a physical perspective, but more importantly, as I was to learn, a psychological one. To help with this, I was fortunate to speak with two experts, Steph Fox a meditation teacher from Liverpool and Talwinder 'Terry' Sidhu, the author of the book Meditate
Highlight & Data
For MND patients, respiratory failure is the most common cause of death with more than 20% of MND patients unaware of their respiratory weakness before diagnosis (Southern Health and Social Care Trust)
The global economy loses about $1 Trillion per year due to depression and anxiety (World Health Organisation)
Almost a third of people polled (32%) say they have a close friend or family member who has trouble controlling their anger (Mental Health Foundation)
17.9 million working days lost due to work-related stress, depression or anxiety in 2019/20 (Health and Safety Executive)
Blood is oxygenated 10 -15% more when breathing through your nose. (National Library of Medicine) (Labour Force Survey)
Alternative healthcare industry set to be worth $404B by 2028. (Grand View Research)
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My introduction on the importance of breathing
They say laughter is the best medicine and learning that children laugh 300 times a day (compared to adults at only 15-20), it’s no surprise to see the link between happiness and breathing.
But as a child, I had numerous issues with my own breathing, suffering from both Croup and Asthma, with one particularly scary moment suffering a second, this time huge asthma attack.
That night wrapped up in my Thundercats quilt, sat on the toilet, being fed inhaler after inhaler was luckily the last time I would have such an issue. In the years that followed, all I wanted to do was play sport. Spending hours and hours on the football pitch, tennis court or skate park, I was improving my breathing and making my lungs work better every day.
Yet compared to my physical health, my mental health never saw the same improvements, something I was to learn even more these past 18 months.
Although my mother tried counselling, triggered by my parent's divorce, I continued to manifest problems with anger, stonewalling, detachment and anxiety. Something that was responsible for not only losing three of my front teeth during my teenage years, still my most embarrassing story, but most recently the love of my life, my wife.
Although this was more common than I thought - 32% of people say they have a close friend or family member with similar issues - something I was to learn in 2011 took this very common issue and put it on steroids. I cover this a little bit later, however it was only in 2020, after hiding these demons, I was forced to finally look in the mirror and do something about it.
Never did I imagine meditation and the consciousness of breathing was going to be the big line in the sand I needed to finally face and deal with something that had been eating me up for years.
Mindfulness and the importance of detachment
Falling into meditation actually came by accident. Introduced to it by my gym, Alliance, starting with a Monday evening class run by our teacher Steph.
My initial thought was, 'OK, I’m working on my physical self, maybe I should explore the mental side too.' Advised by those more experienced than me, I learnt that fighting is as much mental as it is physical. Steph was also a breathing coach to the British Boxing team. My thought was, I could certainly learn something from the experience.
With 16 types of meditation featured on the app Headspace - with revenues increasing by 33% in 2019 - it’s easy to see how vast the study of meditation is, but the one consistent thing (and what Terry calls Step One, in Chapter 6 of his book Meditate) everything starts with a breath.
As Terry explained, “breath is used to detach yourself from your feelings and to replace mental illness with mental health. This all starts with a breath and meditation can only start when you have control of that breath"
For me I never stopped to smell the roses, my life was chasing the next sunset, something my Grandfather was a little critical of, and rightfully so. You might think, chasing, being driven and always pushing forward is a good thing, but what came with that was huge anxiety. Partner that up with fear, a short temper and an inability to process or share emotions turned me into a not very nice person. What I have learnt during this breath discovery, there is a huge difference between pushing forward with thought and pushing forward with fear.
Allowing myself to detach and process my thoughts, rather than race through them, I was able to learn more about my own feelings and take more control of them. By focusing on my breath, it provided me with the feedback loop on so many things I had been dealing with. Thanks to something many of us take for granted I was able to finally turn a corner, face and understand my fears and deal with my anxieties. Something Terry went to elaborate on. Once you master breath, not only will it help control your emotions, but before negative thoughts even arrive, breath can recognise them, nipping them in the bud before they even manifest, but, I am still some way away from that!
How breathing helped with my performance
Being a mouth breather, I was never great at reserving my energy, ok I could compete above basic level in most sports, but anything that involved cardiovascular endurance, I was useless. OK I would finish, but I would be many steps or swimming strokes behind.
But for Muay Thai, you are not following footsteps, you are dogging 8 limbs and from amateurs to the elite, the difference between winning and not, can be as simple as who can manage their fitness, and ultimately their breathing during the fight.
This was something I struggle with a lot, and during one of my first-ever Muay Thai classes, I was given the nickname grimace. My issue, I would hold my breath, tense up and always look like I was in pain - a good summary of how I was feeling inside. Initially, I didn’t see the connection, but the crazy thing was, once I was able to focus on my breathing, be more present, my frown started to turn into a smile. This was a huge turning point for me, both personally and for my training, something I have so many people to thank for.
Speaking with Steph (who has trained some of the UK best boxers), it was great to discuss how conscious breathing can help drop blood pressure, act as a natural pain killer, cut out intrusive thoughts and help with visualisations and performance anxiety.
My own MND anxiety
In September 2018 after 11 years of battling MND and fighting every day, my dad finally lost his battle. For many of those years, he battled for his own breath and seeing this first hand and experiencing his final few days, hit me pretty hard! The reason for this beyond the obvious is that I was possibly seeing a glimpse of my own future. In 2011, I got the news that I had the familiar gene. This as you can imagine was tough to take and something I struggled to talk about, especially with those closest to me, my concern, being a burden to those I loved the most.
The problem was, the news also threw fuel onto my already smouldering mental issue and rather than seek help, it manifested inside me for many years, coming out in the worst way possible, through anger, impatience and resentment. It was only after the fear of losing something more important than myself that I finally decided to seek help that was needed.
With the help of my breathwork, my focus on detachment and being more present in my thoughts and actions, I was finally able to work on my problems and build a better version of myself. Although I have a lot of people to thank, I never thought much of my progress would come from my meditation and breathwork.
Living life whilst being anxious about the past and fearful of the future isn’t a very good combination and in most cases can be extremely influential in how you engage with people around you, your colleagues, friends, family and those you love the most. Although I still have a long way to go and will continue to build on my successes, crossing that line and being miles past it, I am excited about where my developments will take me as I breathe with more purpose.
Covid and the future of breath
Looking into the future, it would be stupid not to mention the C-word and how for the last 18 months the spotlight on mental health has been on the high beam. I was interested to get both Terry’s and Steph thoughts on what they have seen and what their thoughts are for the future.
One interesting observation was the forced removal of mental triggers, whether it be work, travel, family or making everyday decisions. With these taken away, people felt more content with what they did and what they had, seeing what makes them actually happy, recognising as Steph put it “We aren’t mental!!”
Steph also talked about the feeling of guilt and how she believed people shouldn’t feel this way. “Millions of people have died yes, but people shouldn’t feel guilty that they have come out of this stronger, changing their lives for the better” In many respects, I can relate.
One common observation was how big corporations and technology continue to jump on the gravy train of mainstream mindfulness. With the alternative healthcare industry set to be worth $404Bn by 2028, it's no surprise to see it fill paper inches, new startups advertised everywhere and finally be part of the boardroom conversation.
Although both Terry and Steph felt this is a positive thing, both agree on how important authenticity and quality will be. Both are concerned for cheap rip-offs and businesses only scratching the service as lip service to corporate image and not putting time and money where their mouth is. But, as Steph put it “Shit comes, and shit goes, authenticity will always remain”.
One thing they are both excited about is how meditation and breathing will hit the school curriculum, with Terry believing that within the next 10 years meditation will be its own scalable study and in the near future, we will be able to visit meditation school. I for one will continue my own study, as is similar to any muscle, to stay strong your happiness needs regular exercise. Having such an impact on my life in such a small space of time, I look forward to seeing where it takes me and who I can become.
Where you can get started
I understand the personal contribution to this blog, I was a little worried it might come across as a little self-loving, I hope you don’t think that. I do however hope for any of those reading this who have or are going through their own battles, I would strongly suggest you explore the power of meditation and breathwork. But don’t be scared of it, as Terry suggested, “Always progress at your own pace and don’t force yourself beyond your own capabilities. "Just like yoga, listen to your body first and your teacher second”
If you got to the end of this blog, I really appreciate your time, if I can help or answer any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.